Thursday, September 17, 2009

GOT GOLDFISHES!

The best little snack cracker you can get at the grocer and most people don't know they can make their own. (Note: This is a personal "recipe" and I've only done this twice and its been years. They will also not taste/look exactly like Goldfish Crackers.)

What You Need
  • Salt
  • Block Cheese
  • Cheese Slicer
  • Baking Sheet
  • Time

Optional
  • Small Cookie Cutter
  • Powdered Food Coloring

First thing you need to know is that to make these you have to slow bake and you've got to do it at a LOW temperature. The thing with cheese is that it burns fast so you need to watch it, hence the need for time. This isn't something you can "slam in the stove" on a baking sheet and forget about with a timer cause these babies will go QUICK. The problem is that you need a lot to make a little cause a good chunk of them will burn no matter what you do.

Lightly grease the pan with PAM or something of that nature. It really needs to not be to much otherwise the cheese will soak it up and your result will be rather gross and soggy. Have fun if you don't grease at all.

The oven temp depends on a lot of things but you don't want it over 350 and it has to be over 100. There isn't a set temperature mainly because the things cook to fast one way and to slow another... and the balance is always oven-to-oven different. Sadly, you must experiment with this.

Take the cheese and make REALLY, REALLY THIN and REALLY SMALL slices. I'm talking right before they are impossible to pick up. This is because they wont turn "crispy" if its thick and they wont cook fast enough if they are large. Instead they get gooey and gross. The cheese slices should be practically see through and only about 1inch all way round. (If you want to use a cookie cutter, make slices bigger in size but keep slice thickness)

Take the slices and put them on the pan, VERY SEPARATED. If the slices touch, they'll NEVER turn crispy and instead turn into a cheesy mess. It is at this point that you can use the cookie cutter. Yes, you have to use it on the pan because the slices are too flimsy and weak to be moved about so often. I'd really suggest against this, however, as it makes things too complicated.

At this point you sprinkle salt (not a lot, just a pinch) on the shapes. The salt is a catalyst and helps keep from melting and instead makes the cheese want to bake (Actually it makes it want to burn but that's why you are watching it). It is at this time that you may also lightly sprinkle with powdered food coloring. This is only to make the things all "pretty". You can't use anything other then the powdered because, again, it results in "gooey cheese" and not "cheese cracker". Warning: A lot of powered food coloring has salt or at least crystals that react the same way. Thus, use less salt. I'd suggest against food coloring at all but it can be done.

From here you just slide the things in and watch. The trick is that what you are doing is actually trying to burn the cheese slices "solid" but at the same time "catch them" before they actually burn. If the oven has been preheated this will happen within a couple of minutes or even sooner (assuming you made small slices, didn't soak the sheet with grease/etc and added the salt). At first, the cheese starts to melt but then the salt gets in there and it starts to burn. This is where you'll need to grab the sheet and pull them out. Anything around the edge might be extra burnt and anything in the center might be gooey.... this I've yet to "fix" as I'm not exactly a chef.

I am always happy with the outcome of this odd food experiment regardless of what burnt what went "gooey" and what turned into actual cracker. Its like an extra "surprise" snack! Once you let everything cool its got a random consistency and taste that bleeds well, I think, together. During the "cool down" you can add any other powdered seasonings you want. At this point, what you have will work basically like popcorn made of cheese.

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